Through this process, you not only mend the connections that may have been strained by your addiction but also forge stronger bonds founded on honesty, integrity, and accountability. In these cases, reflect on whether reaching out is to clear your own conscience at the other person’s expense. This is where a 12-Step “sponsor” or even a counselor’s feedback could be helpful in checking your motivation. Sometimes stepping back is the best way you can make amends. Giving a person space and honoring their right to feel what they feel about the impact your addiction and the connected behaviors has had on their lives.
How Soon Do I Start to Make Amends Once I Am Sober?
Living amends is a concept linked to addiction recovery and part of the twelve-step program for sober living. In simple terms, it means taking responsibility for the person you used to be and how you caused harm to the people in your life who care about you. After embracing a sober lifestyle, you continue to live well and treat family and friends as they should be treated. You can’t erase the past, but with long-term sobriety, you can rebuild trust, repair relationships, and be close to your loved ones again.
Ways to Make Amends in Recovery
He’s a teenager, so I try to let him function living amends at that age level. When he runs out of clean clothes, I don’t lecture or offer solutions. I let him decide if he wants to do laundry at midnight or wear dirty clothes. I no longer interrogate him about his day at school, so I can give my wise advice on how to handle difficult peers. I’m not his teacher, and I’m sure she’s skilled at handling that type of problem. When my husband misses a turn because he’s in the wrong lane, I say nothing.
You can find What’s Your Grief? Lists to Help you Through Any Loss wherever you buy books:
- The first step is to know that your questions and feelings are normal.
- In these cases, they make promises of cleaning up their act and changing their behaviors to their loved ones just before they die.
Essentially, don’t make promises that you can’t keep and do everything you can to live up to the promises you do make. The unfortunate truth is that we’re all human and we all fall short sometimes. However, that doesn’t mean you’ve failed at your new, honest and sober lifestyle.
- It’s important to have a plan in place before we reach out.
- Making amends in recovery is challenging, and individuals in recovery may encounter various obstacles.
- Through these restorative actions, you demonstrate your commitment to change.
- This 8-week Bible study will help you build your quiet time with the Lord if you do not already have one established.
Like the definition says, amends is something we do to make up for something we feel guilty for. It is different from an apology, which is “a regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure”. An apology doesn’t include an action that attempts to make up or compensate for that wrongdoing. That is also a different ball of wax entirely, one that we have written about here.
- Think of amends as actions taken that demonstrate your new way of life in recovery, whereas apologies are basically words.
- It cannot be bought because God has freely given it to us.
- A true amend would be giving him $20 back along with the apology.
- They may choose to make living amends by promising to change their ways and become more helpful to others.